Whether in a relationship, in politics, or just socially, truth goes through many incarnations or changes before being accepted. The birth of truth in a relationship often comes as a shock to the system. In politics, truth often appears as a radical thought that is misread initially by the body politic.
WHY IS THE TRUTH SO HARD FOR FOLKS TO ACCEPT? – Each of us set up what we think as reality through our belief systems. Too often, that reality has nothing to do with truth of your life. Having gone through a life of unexamined beliefs, most folks are full of invalid and conflicting beliefs in their belief system. These are beliefs that have been instilled in ones system by people and institutions you love and respect, yet those beliefs have little to nothing to do with your personal experiences. We synchronize our inner world (of thoughts, ideas, emotions, dreams, intuition, etc.) with our reason when we remove those beliefs that don’t match our personal experiences.
For example, if a Black man has the belief that all White folks are racists from what his parents have told him, yet his experiences with White folks have said some are racists but others aren’t, this man has conflicting and invalid beliefs. This is how we examine the beliefs, by comparing the beliefs with the experiences in our lives. The invalid belief is ALL WHITE FOLKS ARE RACISTS. The conflicting belief is through one’s experiences where there have been a mixture of both civil and racist behavior from White folks rendering the invalid belief moot. By holding both beliefs, simultaneously, you end up with a mixture of behavior the individual can’t explain until these beliefs are reconciled.
In consciously seeing in one’s experience that there are good and bad White folks, just like there are good and bad Black folks, this gentleman can then go through life allowing people to show him how they are, rather than pre-judging them. This will lead to fewer conflicts with others bringing in more positive experiences in ones life.
SO TRUTH IS DIFFICULT FOR FOLKS TO ACCEPT BECAUSE IT’S USUALLY A SHOCK TO ONE’S BELIEF SYSTEM.
Truth often is denied when it first comes on the scene. For example, when Americans hear another American use his/her right of free speech to tell the truth about this nation, that person is often rebuffed as being un-American, un-patriotic, communists, socialists and almost every negative name under the sun. These people forget that to dissent against government is patriotic, is American, and is your Constitutional Right.
As an American who loves this country, I see a nation that is both positive and negative. When a White man such as Ron Paul, a Republican who ran for the nomination to be President, says that America’s foreign policy led to such things as 9/11, that statement may not be popularly accepted by the majority, but he wasn’t vilified. Let Barack Obama’s pastor state the same truth, and through osmosis, Obama IS vilified, not for words he’s expressed, but for what his pastor had to say. Racism is that blind!
Now, if I make the observation that America tends to be racist and has operated like terrorists over the last 5 years in the Middle East, not to mention how Americans have treated Black folk the last 143 years, there are those who would reject that statement outright, labeling me whatever they want. That’s they way truth often operates. It’s seriously rejected initially as being lies told by someone evil. As time passes, the truth, if examined, is eventually allowed to become acceptable after careful examination of the evidence, and determining whether the beliefs are invalid and/or conflicting. The truth begins to become acceptable through this examination.
Another example of truth not being accepted is the weapons of mass destruction issue in Iraq. The truth was Hans Blitz and Scott Ritter, weapons inspectors, told us there were no wmd’s in Iraq and this government outright lied for war profiteering, oil and a grab for power, domestically. The truth was accepted by the majority after things became clearer over time, but Blitz, Ritter and those who were against the invasion into Iraq were initially vilified for not going along with the lie. FEAR ASSISTS IN NOT RECOGNIZING THE TRUTH!
You can say the same regarding relationships. In relationships, truth often is denied and/or overlooked to maintain one’s belief about reality whether it’s regarding love, infidelity/fidelity, money issues, buying issues, expectations, pre-conceived ideas, relationships with the outer world, how you deal with each other, how you raise the kids, conflicting passions, problem solving, etc. These things often blind us to the truth or have us denying it. The truth is relationships where folks accept each other for who and what they are without letting expectations and pre-conceived ideas get in the way, tend to have longer lasting relationships - even if you have to let them go! THAT'S TRUE LOVE. IT'S THE SAME LOVE THE SPIRIT HAS FOR YOU!
The question becomes, HOW CAN I RECOGNIZE THE TRUTH? – There’s an old expression that says, LIKE RECOGNIZES LIKE! In other words, IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
YOU CAN RECOGNIZE TRUTH WHEN YOU FIND THE TRUTH WITHIN YOU!
HOW DO I FIND THE TRUTH WITHIN ME? – By taking the time to find out who you and what you really are. Keeping a journal of your days and dreams. The more detailed the better, but start out with just an outline of each day until you feel like putting in more details. Your likes and dislikes, strength and weaknesses, your loves and hates, your passions (skills, talents, abilities), knowing what your feelings and emotions say about you, examining the beliefs behind the problem areas of your life as well as the things that are going well are ways to keep your journal.
WHEN YOU FIND THE TRUTH WITHIN YOU, IT MAKES IT EASIER TO RECOGNIZE IT IN THE WORLD.
QUESTION EVERYTHING! THAT'S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.
There have been many times in my life where this has applied.The one time I
can remember it appying most is when after years of being told
homosexuality is a sin I finally came to my own conclusion that that was a
lie.I am still a religious person and I beleive God created love so how
could he have a problem with two people loving eachother even if the are of
the same gender since for them to a false life as a heterosexual would be
more of a sin in my eyes.There are other examples of this in my life and I
think before I beleive now.
Angela, the journey we take through experiences is to lead us to the truth
within us.
The learning process has a whole lot of trial and error to get to the
truth. Truth is real and once we get there (to the truth) life takes on a
whole new persona. For the time I've known you, you've worked to be in the
position you're in now.
Melius Caesar says: Lol..jesus...you know what that reminds me of my good
friend? Remember? When I told you that I had originally thought you were a
white person, instead of black. I figured this cause, I've never seen a
sailor who was black. TV...Media...cartoons...all depict white old bearded
men who have yellow rain coats on and floppy hats. OF course, I didn't tell
you that until later, for a good laugh. We found a common interest in
music. Originally.
Mel, when I talk to folks on the phone, many folks think I'm White. When I
go into a place of business, I notice people respond to my voice ( maybe
cause of 13 years in radio). But I'm an American that happens to be Black.
Capt., you've made valid points. But, I have to admit, and I don't know if
this is purely a male trait, but the truth is hard to hear, especially,
when you don't want to hear it. I can take some criticism, but when certain
traits rear there ugly head, and they're pointed out to me, I get offended,
and it's happened time & time again, w/ various traits. Especially when my
wife brings this up. So, I guess, you could translate that to generalize
that most men, dislike the truth, if they don't want to hear it. Now that I
type this, it could apply to the female mind as well. In my current
familial situation, I often feel like "Meathead" from Archie Bunker, as my
wife & I eat dinner most nights with my in-laws. As it happens, my
father-in-law is for McCain, as is my wife. Myself, I am somewhat curious
to see Obama in action, and can't help but bring up "Dubya's" screw ups at
the table. Or the screw ups of his appointee's or Cabinet. Thankfully,
we're civilized at the table, and I know I can speak some of my mind.
Anyway, this is enough of a ramble.
KG, that wasn't a ramble. You were just expressing yourself. One exercise
that might be good for you is to explore WHY the truth is difficult for you
to hear -expecially if it's the truth. Not wanting to hear the truth says
something about us as individuals. This could lead to you and your wife
becoming closer, because when you deny the truth from her, in essence,
you're not communicating.