POSTCARD FROM MY JOURNEY INTO DIMENTIA

In dealing with someone with Alzheimer’s no two days are alike. With Mom being in the early stages (at 80 years old), I’ve adjusted my life to take care of her affairs (bills, taxes, health, etc.) besides ensuring her life is in order.

I used to take Mom out every weekend for shopping, sight-seeing and eating out, in addition to her coming by for brunch each Sunday after church. Each morning I would give her a call to start both of our day, but I would only go by the house on occasion.

Mom called me one morning telling me she thought someone at the bank was stealing her money. It turned out she had been writing checks overdrawing her checking account with the bank allowing those checks to go through but removing money from her savings account in order to cover the checks. This was my first inkling that my mother needed help.

Now that we’ve gotten a good schedule for paying the bills, I’ve been looking into upgrading her life. Even at Mom’s age, she has more energy than most people, but she hasn’t been able to focus her mind to keep her house in the tiptop condition she used to keep it. In my own home, you can tell my mood by how my place looks. Mom is very similar. Her house felt depressing. Depression and sadness accelerate dimentia.

So I did my own extermination job in the place, moving furniture and vacuuming thoroughly. The other day she told me, YOU KNOW I ENJOYED COUNTING THE MONEY AT THE CHURCH, BUT WHEN I GOT HOME I FELT DEPRESSED. When I walk into her home I feel the same way because she doesn’t let enough light in the house. Even the plants I’ve given her over the years would fair better with more light. So I told her we’re going to spruce up her place.

First, I opened her blinds to let in the light and you can’t imagine the difference that made in changing the dark feeling the livingroom had to one of feeling upbeat. She kept the blinds closed because she didn’t want people looking into her place. Pointing across the way to the sister building to hers, I said, IF YOU CAN’T SEE INTO THEIR APARTMENT, THEN THEY CAN’T SEE INTO YOURS. The next day Mom calls saying, GUESS WHAT! I’M PUTTING UP SOME BRIGHT CURTAINS IN THE BACK ROOM TO MAKE IT BRIGHTER. I really felt I made a little headway there.  She said she felt more like her old self. 

Another discovery has been when Mom has been unfocused it stemmed from her not eating. When you starve your system, you’re more likely to hallucinate. At this stage, Mom can’t tell when she’s hungry, so I have to schedule to call her to get her to eat. When she eats, she is more her usual self. So when I hear that she sounds spacey or panicky I make sure she gets something into her stomach. We go shopping every two weeks to fill up her refrigerator with healthy food and the fun foods she likes. Mom’s not a big drinker but likes at touch of wine at night so we purchased some of her favorites.

Next weekend we’re going to replace the carpeting in the livingroom for something that’s brighter and feels happier. I’ve upgraded her telephone, cable and internet service (dial-up takes forever) and her Spirits have been uplifted too.

Lastly, I’ve discovered there are two frames of mind Mom operates from: 1) Where she is unfocused, fearful, and untrusting; and 2) A clearer mind that is close to what used to be her true personality. I’ve discussed her condition with her from the position that she is fighting off the last enemy of man, old age. She’s asked whether she’ll ever get back to where she was, and I’ve had to tell her that she is in a battle for her life. That we’re putting off old age. We are doing the opposite of what old age says we should do.

The last entry I did on this I said that this experience would say more about me than it does about her. Last night she told me she was blessed to have me. I had to let her know I’ve been blessed to have her as my Mom.  I love that Lady!