CAN WOMEN WASH DISHES? CAN MEN? LIFE LESSONS!

I’ve had a life where the women I encounter have been very neat and clean with respect to the way they kept their home, however, I have yet to find a lady who does a great job of washing glasses, dinnerware and silverware. I can hear the ladies, now, saying, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR HANDS, MISTER, THAT YOU CAN’T PICK UP A WASH CLOTH? Ladies, I do!

Ever since I was 7 years old dishes have been part of my regimen. Both my parents worked when we were kids, at a time when a mother working was rare and even frowned upon. My job was to do dishes every other week, and with a Marine for a father checking whether the job was done properly, I didn’t get away with murder. If glasses were greasy, and/or silverware crusty, and/or crumbs left on plates, and/or the underside of the plate was dirty, Dad would take those things out of the drainer and call me in to do them over, whether I was sleep, playing with friends, doing homework, watching t.v., whatever! Having my flow interrupted like that led to my becoming an excellent dishwasher, early.

Now, there will be those who say, I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I USE A DISHWASHER. My answer to those folks is, HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT THE GLASSES, DISHES AND SILVERWARE COMING OUT OF YOUR DISHWASHER? It’s as bad as or worse than the ladies I’ve been discussing regarding washing dishes. By the way, are dishwashers some of the worse germ carriers?

The trials my parents put me through to make me a good dishwasher also led me to discover that they didn’t know how to wash dishes, either. The criteria they were holding my brother and me to, were not the same as those they lived by – know what I’m sayin’? One of the first instances of learning LIFE IS NOT FAIR, BUT BALANCES ITSELF OUT AS TIME GOES BY. It evened itself out with respect to dishwashing by teaching me lessons that were pertainent to the rest of my life.

LESSONS OF DISHWASHING

1. KNOW YOUR GOAL - Clean dishes to the eye, touch, and nose, so I can keep my flow.
2. FIND A SYSTEM THAT EFFICIENTLY ATTAINS THE GOAL.
3. APPLY THAT SYSTEM TO THE TASK BIG OR SMALL.
4. USE INFORMATION OF PETTY TYRANTS (MY PARENTS) TO GAUGE REACTION TO ATTAIN GOAL.
5. WHEN YOU REACH THE GOAL, BE MINDFUL OF HOW YOU GOT THERE AND REPEAT WHEN NECESSARY. Note to the ladies: This is why you never fake an orgasm with a man!

You often here me say, WE LEARN THROUGH OBSERVATION AND DOING. It’s in the repetition of doing and gauging the results that we become expert at the task. Through this process I discovered the best way to do dishes.

DISHWASHING

1. PREPARE THE DISHES – Scrap food off plates and pots. Put water in the pots to keep the residue from hardening and also put water in the cups and glasses to help remove the smell of the contents that made them dirty.
2. RUN HOT WATER (AS HOT AS YOU CAN TAKE IT) IN THE SINK WITH DISHWASHING DETERGENT AND MAKE IT SOAPY.
3. PLACE YOUR SILVERWARE IN THE SINK WHILE IT’S SOAPING UP AND BEGIN TO USE A CLEAN SOAPY SPONGE TO CLEAN YOUR GLASSES AND CUPS FIRST. This is done to keep the glasses from filming, having a smell and/or fingerprints and feeling greasy. Clean the inside of the glass, the lip, the outside AND the bottom. Rinse the glass well and put it in the drainer.
4. NEXT, CLEAN THE SILVERWARE – Insuring you clean in between the tongs and the handles. Get em real soapy, rinse and to the drainer.
5. DO THE PLATES AND SAUCERS – With a soapy sponge, the back as well as the front of the plate. There is nothing more disgusting than seeing a filthy underside to a plate your eating off.
6. AT THIS POINT THE WATER IN THE SINK IS SOAPY AND READY TO RECEIVE THE POTS. Because there was water in the pots initially, the contents haven’t hardened on the side and are easy to remove. And please remove the contents from the outside of the pots and pans as well (handles, too).
7. DON’T USE THE SAME SPONGE YOU USE FOR DOING DISHES TO CLEAN COUNTERTOPS AND OTHER ITEMS – TOO MANY GERMS.

I know too many guys don’t know how to wash dishes, but I’m always surprised to discover women who maintain a very clean looking house have dishes that aren’t up to par.

QUESTION EVERYTHING!  THAT'S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDE.