SEX, POLITICS, WORLD WAR III AND LAUGHS

Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush.You have AIDS."

Gay Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?".
Doc says, "Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

Gay Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."

Q..: Why did NY Governor

Eliot Spitzer's

 wife stand next to him as he confessed his involvement with a hooker?

A.: Because it qualifies her to run for President on the Democratic ticket 4 years from now!

Mother vs. Momma

A black girl and a white girl were friends. The black girl slept over
the white girl's house.It was 3 a.m., and they were still up.

The white girl's mother came downstairs and said, 'Honey, don't you
think it's time for you to go to bed?'
The white girl responded, 'Shut up Mother, I don't want to go to sleep!'
Her mother said, 'Okay, honey. You can go to bed later.'
The black girl was very intrigued by what happened and decided to use that
when she
got home.

The next night the black girl's mother said to the black girl,
'Girl, go to bed! It's late!'
The black girl shouted, 'Shut up Momma, I don't want to go to sleep!'
The black girl's mother took one look at her & raised
her eyebrow...The black girl started to blink, looked around, and asked,
'Where am I?'
A lady came over to the bed and answered, 'You're in the Intensive Care
Unit, Sweetie.'

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"  

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
 
I am the head of the family, so call me The President. 
        
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.  

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.        

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. 

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.     
       
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.." 
        
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.        

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him . 

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.      

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.         

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. 
      
He gives up and goes back to bed .        

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." 
       
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."       

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh%&"

WORLD WAR III IS COMING!!!

President Bush decides to leave the White House

and go out to sit in a local bar. A guy walks in and  

asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush sitting at the end of the bar?"  

The bartender says, "Yep, that's him." So the guy

walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor!

What are you doing in here?"

Bush says, planning WW III." The guy says, "Really? - What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, I'm going to kill 140 million

Muslims and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?

Why kill a blonde with big tits?"


Bush turns to the bartender and says,

"See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the

140 million Muslims".

tags: jokes  humor  laughs  homosexuality  politics  mommas  world war iii  

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