My RSS Feeds
HOW MUCH DO WOMEN BASE THEIR CHOICE OF MATE ON HIS INCOME?
Too much! Spiritually speaking, women have been economically challenged for centuries and have made decisions regarding their choice of mate based on the job, income and standing in society. In a paternal world, where men have dominated the means of capital and making money, women have had to exert their economic strength through that of their men.
Yearly, Ebony magazine does a special segment on the 100 most eligible Black bachelorettes. This bevy of young, very attractive, women with plenty of potential economically, themselves, list what are their requirements in a mate. It’s amusing to see that each of the young ladies state their dream man needed to be `financially secure’. This trait didn’t rank any lower than number 3 on each of their lists. Now, I’m not downplaying the importance of cash in a household, yet there are so many more elements key to having a good relationship that’s often ignored. And why is it none of the young ladies was interested in a man in the making of economic security or assisting in creating that security, together?
The fact that, currently, women are initiating divorce at a greater rate than men indicates money isn’t the end all many of them think.
There are a number of women who believe having a certain number of children (an ideal of the mind) all grouped together is the best way to deal with married life. This decision is often made with little self knowledge. Women, and men, have fulfillment issues that can be addressed through self knowledge, giving information as to what is truly important to you.
Raising children may be one of many things a woman wants to do with her life. With total focus on raising children, other aspects of who and what you are, are ignored to the point where you don’t feel fulfilled. This dissatisfaction can lead to resentment toward the partner because the woman feels the partner is more engaged in life – not knowing the partner may feel unfulfilled, too!
Men have a problem with emotional dependency. A man lacking self knowledge tends to attach emotionally to the woman in his life, his job, his children, his material possessions, money, etc. taking on an ownership quality, of these things, linked to his identity. This ownership quality is emotionally driven through a strong identification with these elements in his life. The truth is men don’t own the women in their lives, nor the children, friends, and relatives, etc. The material things they buy are not part of their identity, either. Too many men haven’t learned this and respond to events in their lives as though other people and things are them, personally. Not so! It’s an identity challenge for men that many ignore.
Often, when a man defends his woman, it’s connected to how the situation makes him look, rather than what happened with his woman – he’s got to save face. Like another guy looking at his lady is something he has to protect her from!
Who and what are you when you strip away the labels you’ve used to identify yourself to others? Who and what are you when we take away your significant other, your family, friends, job, your car, your house, your material things, your money, your status, etc.? Who are you? What are you? How are you then defined?
The answer is, YOU ARE DEFINED BY YOUR CHOICES AND THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE! This is why discovering, exploring and expressing your passions (sharing them with others) is so pertinent. This is one of the most important activities we can offer our children as part of any school curriculum. It’s also key to see the plurality of our passions so we deal with the complete people we are. Your most fulfilled life will come from sharing the gifts you’ve been given with the world. THIS AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IN WAYS MOST CAN’T IMAGINE!
However, this activity (self discovery) is not something that has to be relegated to school curriculums. Neighborhood and community groups as well as churches and religious organizations can help in getting this information to all citizens.
People often ask the question as to why so many people do negative things within the world. The patented answer has been, THEY ARE EVIL PEOPLE. THERE IS EVIL IN THE WORLD. The so-called evil stems from not knowing who and what you are. So much stems from not knowing self and allowing the beliefs of others to overwhelm you because you don’t know the truth within yourself. Self discovery leads you to that truth, and a better life.
Any actions one takes in life can always be balanced by the question, WOULD I WANT SOMEONE TO DO THIS TO ME? The answer to that question is your moral compass. If you are aware and realize the Spiritual Law of Sowing and Reaping/Karma, your answer to the question will be guided by that Law.
Evil is when we take actions against self. Any action you take that you wouldn't want someone to do to you, is an action against self. Why? The forces of the Law of Karma will take your action and send it back at you in a larger fashion and with more force. No one punishes you (not even God). You punish yourself through your actions. In physical reality we have a law in physics that says every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The physical law is different from the Spiritual Law in scope and time, yet the physical law illustrates how this reality is closely related to Spiritual reality.
Everything you experience in life is heightened through your passions. To ignore your passions is to ignore yourself. Ignoring one’s self is to lead a life of happenstance instead of purpose, often leading to depression and other serious illnesses - no less failed relationships and empty work.
QUESTION EVERYTHING! THAT'S WHERE THE TRUTH RESIDES.
hi capt. i like this entry. its true when you say evil stems from us not
knowing who we are and what we do. i have always believed that growth
starts from looking within. and so i give more credit to intra-personal
skills of a person. i think that people around us do not define us, but
rather, mirror what we are. so choosing friends, the crowd you go out with
is very crucial if you want to further grow as an individual.
You're absolutely right, Hikaru. The people and things around you are
reflections of who you are as a person, but they are NOT you.
i think i know what you mean by people who shine. there are some that
because of their disposition in life, they naturally glow. and they attract
those that can see that glow. i would say then that you choose your friends
well. the name hikaru actually means shining in nihonggo. i have been using
it for a long time now, thinking that if i associated with myself, i will
eventually shine. in little ways at least.
Hikaru, didn't realize the significance of your name. Where I disagree
with you is in your not thinking that you shine already. I've seen
pictures of you and your face is beaming. And your writing personality is
smart and cute as a button. To me, you already live up to your moniker!
I can tell you that i personally don't choose a man based on money.I admit
he has to be making some of his own given that since I do not expect him to
support me financially I do not expect to support him financially!I figure
that it is reasonable to expect my man to have a job since any self
respecing person wants to be with a person who is not a deadbeat!
Right on Capt! All the more reason young marriages/relationships are
headed for disaster.
It takes time for many people to know themselves in order to make good
judgements concerning relationships.
Times were different then when you and I were young. I was literally
thrown into marriage the first time at 18, pushed by a mother who didn't
want me around. My second marriage was for different reasons and not for
what was right for me. The lord knows, it wasn't for money! There are
timess we do what we need to do to survive. People need to grow
emotionally, have time to discover who they are and to develop thier
passions before they can truly be happy.
Angela, your being self sufficient, as well as your man, is definitely on
point. But life throws us curves sometimes that come in a variety of
fashions. How would you feel if you were making considerably more than he
did? How would he feel? Suppose a health issue arose and he couldn't earn
a living, what would you do? This is just a sampling of things that can
happen to make you delve even more into what you truly believe.
I think lots and lots women would like to assist in creating the financial
security with the right partner. But since when it just comes to filling a
questionaire, I guess it's natural to people just to fill in their ideal
imagination/requirements? As men are physicially attracted by these
good-looking/sexy women, but in reality, they choose these who are right
for them?
Yvonne, I appreciate your observations and I do realize there are women who
are willing to create solid relationships with their men - more as
teenagers than as grown women. My partner is just that, with us building
what we have together.
sorry, I guess it's me misunderstood the defination of "emotional
dependncy". I didn't mean to critisie(I would like to discuss), if I
sounded like that, then pls forgive me, English is not my motherlanguage.